Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Vocabulary Word: Aggro

Ahh, aggro, how interesting you are. Some may think you are a horticulture class, or a college major for people who want to be farmers. Alas, this is not the case. For those, like myself, who do not "tank" (more on that later), you are an unwanted annoyance that often results in upset interjections over vent.  

"Jengus, if you want to tank, go defensive stance!"
sigh "Rynnia's dead...again"
"Oh come on! Learn to feign death!"
"Fubar did it!"

These comments represent your typical in-game aggro scenarios. Example: Boss is pulled. Death Knight is trying out his new spec and wants to see how much dps he can do. Death Knight blows cooldowns and attacks .5 seconds after the tank pulls. Death Knight now has aggro, and is, essentially the current tank. Death Knight is not spec'd or geared to tank. Death Knight dies. If tank can taunt and re-establish aggro, all continues with a single (deserved) casualty. If tank cannot, Boss selects next highest aggro (probably a squishy mage or warlock) and wipes the floor with them. Squishy dies. You get the idea. If this is a heroic 10 man, you now have too many dead to continue, must commit suicide, and start over. Congratulations.

Where the term aggro (which, I think is short for aggression) becomes extra interesting is when it is applied to non-game scenarios. Hence the phenomenon known as "wife aggro"
"Hey, EpicHealz, you there?"
muffled clanking and arguing in the background
30 seconds pass
"Yeah, just a second.  Major wife aggro.  I have to take the trash out, be right back"

This scenario can also apply to "husband aggro" which is usually of a different nature.

"OK, let's review the combat log from that last attempt. What killed you FluffyNugget?"
(typed response) Sorry guys, I have to go. Major gas from a bean burrito!
 [FluffyNugget has gone offline]

FluffyNugget is then unceremoniously dragged to the bedroom by hubby (who, if you didn't catch that, was the one who typed in her game chat about the bean burrito), who does not care how many weeks the guild has been working on the boss, or that the last attempt the boss was down to 3%, OR that you are the only boomkin online and they will have to find a pug, fill the spot with a less desirable class, or call the raid hanging 9 people out to dry.

There is also "baby aggro" which is usually accompanied by the sounds of a child screaming in the background, and followed by an afk to change and dispose of an atomic diaper, to administer a band aid or provide overdue sustenance, usually in the form of microwavable Mac n' Cheese.

If you are unfamiliar with WoW (or MMOs in general) a lot of this may sound like gibberish.  Not to worry! Keep reading. These terms will be explained so that you can understand what your 14 year old is posting on his facebook, or what the tech support gurus chat about in the break-room.

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